LADDventure

Happy Birthday Kelli

Yesterday was my sister Kelli's birthday.  I have taken to writing about special people in my life as their birthday comes around, but I was sick yesterday.  So a day late, I will still take advantage of the oppotunity to tell you about one of my absolute favorite people on the planet.

There is potential for a connection in a sister relationship that is like no other. We always got along pretty well as kids, but we are 6 years apart, so now that we're both adults we are much closer.  She looks just like me, (minus quite a few pounds) with lighter eyes.  She is quite literally my Mini Me. She rents our first home from us back in Wisconsin, and it is the best full circle feeling when I go back to visit and we sit and talk for hours in the living room that has been home for both of us. We sit with pajamas and coffee on her couch, laughing hard and flashing our matching big teeth as our eyes disappear into nothing but squints with tears rolling down our round cheeks.

Being the oldest sister, I did everything first.  I had a boyfriend first, and drove a car fist, and I distinctly remember her sitting on my bed watching me put on my makeup or taking a picture with me before my prom in her soccer uniform.  I felt admired and looked up to.

But, I don't think she realizes how much I look up to her now.  She is gorgeous with the perfect little shape, and her hair always looks amazing.  Whatever she is thinking immediately shows on her face, and nobody looks cuter pregnant, or in a hat and big earrings.  I watched her become a mom first, and I've never been so proud of anyone as I was when we came to see her at the hospital just minutes after my niece was born.  She was weak and tired, but I just remember thinking she was so strong, and I was in awe of her content smile.  For the first time, I could see myself becoming a mom someday, because she had done it.  She is expecting her second little girl next month, and I can't wait to spend some time watching her be the incredible mom that she is to another tiny bundle. 

When she came out to visit me for the first time in Arizona, it made sense to get my first tattoo with her.  In sisterhood, I think you are able to hurt for each other and feel for each other like in no other relationship. Growing up together you share some of the same hurts, the same difficult life experiences and the same happy memories, but you see them through a different lens.  So we combined our two birth flowers, a marigold for her, and a pointsetia for me, and got matching tats!  She had done this before, so I looked to her as she kept me strong while I broke into a cold sweat waiting on the red leather couches of the tattoo shop.

That same week, she also gave me the final push I needed to put teaching on hold and pursue writing full time.  We sat downstairs after everyone else had gone to bed, and I told her how awful the school year had been, and how I just needed to suck it up and was resigned to try again the following year.  But she told me like no one else could have that I wasn't myself.  She said I seemed tense and was quite frankly being a bitch to my husband.  So, with the encouragement of her "if not now, then when?" reminder, I went to school the next day and told them I wasn't coming back the following school year.

Kelli's transition into adulthood has not always been easy.  She had some rough teenage years, and she has struggled with and continues to struggle with very real and difficult things.  It's not my story to tell, it's hers, and she's doing it beautifully and bravely on her new blog.  I have worried about her, and cried with her, and prayed for her, and I know sometimes she feels like the black sheep, and that we are all waiting for her to screw up or to break.  For me, it's really just the opposite.  When she got married, I ugly cried my way through a maid of honor speech, because the only thing that would come out was just how proud I am of her and the beautiful little family that she has created.

So Kelli, my message to you for your birthday is this...
You can do it.  You are enough.  You are capable of more than you realize. You have already accomplished more than some people will in a lifetime by becoming honest and reflective.  Many are never willing to hold up that mirror.   Keep writing and creating and asking for help when you need it.  Just know that you are so very loved, and I am incredibly lucky to call you my seeeester!

Thankful Thursday

 

I've been a bit whiny and more than a bit cranky about missing fall weather lately.  I am grumbling around the house about the absence of orange leaves and scarves.  When I'm being a brat, I know it's time for a Thankful Thursday post; a chance to take an honest look at everything, big and small, that I have to be grateful for:

• Diet Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash - There is only one left in my fridge currently, and they are always sold out at the store.  I've been rationing.
• Anne Lamott - I'm reading her book, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life currently, and everything she writes is something I need to read.
• New experiences - I'm realizing I've had a lot of them this year, including my first spin class last night rendering me only able to sit in soft chairs today.
• Mico - He grabs a toy every time it looks like you may have a minute.  He is always at the ready, which teaches me a lot about being prepared and willing to play.
• Buddy - This dude snuggles like it's his job.
• Apple cinnamon Glade plug-ins - Fall is present in my outlets.
• Getting to spend so much time with the hubs - Although we get in each other's way occasionally, it is really nice to be able to eat lunch together and have little mini conversations throughout the day.  
• A full weekend coming up - dinner with friends, a craft date, football, and a baby shower

Wordless Wednesday

Wanting some of this up in the much cooler and colorful mountains right now...

My Project When I'm Not Here

Not nearly as often as I should, I stop pinning and tweeting.  I stop worrying about what the faces are doing and turn off my wireless to actually write a book.  It's hard - much harder than blogging.  Blogging is snapshots and stream of consciousness.  I can write about whatever I'm thinking at the moment, wrap it up in tidy, clever phrases and some fun photos, and hit publish.  Tada!  There is a quick payoff.  There are likes and comments and pageviews to give me immediate feedback, and prove that someone actually reads what I write.

For me, writing a book is the opposite of that.  If blogging is sprinting, writing a book is running a marathon.  It is messy and lonely.  It is outlines and awful first drafts and one chapter at a time.  It is characters that need dialogue and a plot line that needs rearranging.  So, when I'm not here blogging, and I'm not procrastinating, I'm working on a children's book.  Now, I don't have an agent, a book deal, or an advance, but I do have Maydit - an amazing community of other people who want to write children's books and eventually change the way they are published.

Let me back up a bit.   In May, Mr. Ladd was casually talking to our friend Brent at a party.  He is a professor at ASU and works in the area of innovation and entrepreneurial start ups.  It came up in their conversation,  that I was going to be taking a break from teaching to pursue a writing career, and I was particularly interested in writing children's books. In talking further, Brent mentioned that he too wanted to write children's books and was actually working on a children's book start up focused on collaboration between aspiring children's book authors and illustrators in creating, marketing, and publishing.

Brent invited me to join them, and it seemed too good to be true.  Once I took the step to pursue this full time, here is this lovely group of people waiting to help push each other's projects forward, illustrate them, and get them out there for the world to see. I couldn't believe it.

I walked into Maydit's first Author and Illustrator's Cafe meeting held in a bright room literally named Imagination (What?!?!) At the time, I only had an idea for a book based on a poem I wrote in sixth grade that has always stuck with me.  I was barely able to contain my excitement as we discussed all kinds of creative ideas and steps to bring them to life.  I left that afternoon with validation, a plan to turn my idea into an actual book, and a team of people who had an expressed interest in me doing so.

Vince, our technical expert describing his own fabulous idea for a children's book

Mapping out possibilities for MY BOOK!

From Left to Right:  Coach Chris as I like to call him, me, and Brent (giving the very encouraging thumbs up!) Photos courtesy of Megan, Brent's wife

That first meeting was at the very end of July, and since then I have met another talented author, and talked through the process in another meeting and lots of emails. I've got a very rough 6 chapters done, so I'm about halfway there with the ugly first draft of the manuscript.   It is invaluable to have this kind of support, and I am so grateful for it as I keep plugging away, one grueling chapter at a time.