I woke up earlier than usual to a chilly, grayish morning and got out of bed because it seemed to fit. I fell asleep and woke up with chilly, grayish thoughts, and I just wanted to process them.
I was thinking of my good friend on a plane ride from overseas to get back to her family going through the unthinkable. That's too long to have to sit on a plane with sadness, and jet lag on top of grief just isn't fair.
I was also thinking of the shooting in a spa back in Wisconsin, too close to home. Someone we know works there and is ok, but so much ugliness in a place of beauty and relaxation just isn't fair.
There is no fair. Life is all of the above. Addiction, violence, pain, and loss mixed in with family, celebration, healing, and love. There is emptiness in the midst of fullness, fear surrounded by confidence, and loneliness in a crowded room. The juxtaposition is heartbreaking at times. Unfair. Chilly, grayish mornings turn into blazing sunny days, and sometimes it just feels too bright and too warm.