LADDventure

Liking Your Spouse

Sunday, Mr. Ladd and I went to the Cardinal's game. He'd never been to an NFL game and has become a Cardinal's fan since moving to Arizona, so I surprised him with tickets for his birthday. We both love football, and although I'm a die hard Packer fan, I brought myself to cheer for the Cardinals for three hours, especially since they were taking on the 49ers who I love to hate. We had so much fun together, and it was a great reminder of how much we like each other and enjoy spending time together.

Call me crazy, but I'm a firm believer that you should actually like the person you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Otherwise, why bother? My brother David, and his wife Emily are a great example of this. They are truly each other's favorite person, and it's obvious. They'd rather be together than with anyone else, and it's been that way since they were in middle school. I don't think this is accidental or only for the lucky few, however. I also see them intentionally finding things they like to do together and participating in causes they both believe in. They are considerate of each other and still do little things to take care of and encourage the other person. I say Mr. Ladd is my best friend, and he really is, but sometimes I forget to be a good friend. I say things to him with a tone of voice I would never use with a friend. I think it's very easy to criticize, keep score, or even flat out ignore your spouse in ways you never would with a good friend. Friends take time to do fun stuff together, tell their friend what they like about them, and overlook little quirks.

In our marriage, when we're making time to have fun together, working as a team on a project, or intentionally noticing things we like about the other and then remembering to say them out loud, liking each other becomes a lot easier. We are really trying to enjoy time as a couple before we have kids and know this connection and friendship will become even more important to maintain when we do.

P.S. Recently ran across this from Seth Rogen, talking about actually liking his wife and the problem with how marriage is often portrayed in movies.

Thankful Thursday - This Dude

It's Mr. Ladd's 35th birthday today! I'm beyond grateful that this guy was born, and that life brought us together 18 years ago. I love that we've had a head start on growing old together, and on his birthday here are 35 more reasons I'm thankful for him:

1. He takes out the garbage and recycling, always, without being asked.
2. He's so appreciative when I cook. A homemade dinner and brownies make him so happy, and he always cleans up if I cook.
3. He trims the dogs' nails which gives me the heeby jeebs, and walks them when it's too hot for me.
4. He takes such pride in his work, and his home and never does anything halfway.
5. He has been willing to be so vulnerable to go through this crazy journey of adoption with me.
6. His eyes light up over animals and tear up over sensitive stories.
7. He makes me smile when I'm cranky, and makes me get over myself when I need to.
8. He is crazy smart, and I sometimes marvel at how his brain works.
9. He has always been so unbelievably supportive in practical ways and in spirit of my career and choices.
10. He has an insatiable curiosity for how things work, and will figure it out if he doesn't know how to do something.
11. He's practical and sensible in all the areas I'm impractical and dreamy.
12. He loves his family with a fierce loyalty.
13. He's quiet until he has something good to say.
14. He's a nerd at heart but sure doesn't look like one (ahem, biceps)
15. He takes care of the pool like a chemist.
16. He loves football and is more than content to spend a Sunday afternoon on the couch with me.
17. He makes us breakfast every single weekend.
18. He's an adventurous eater and will try anything.
19. He's opinionated about things that matter, but always open minded.
20. He values my opinion, and treats me as a complete equal.
21. He washes both of our cars and makes sure the oil is changed and the tires are rotated.
22. He's organized and routined in a way that I miss when he's gone.
23. He is generous and always willing to help.
24. He is almost always the first one to admit he was wrong and apologize.
25. He loves maps. Like really loves maps, so we usually get where we're going.
26. He has fully embraced my holiday mania, and even enjoys it now too.
27. He loves to shop, and cares about how he dresses.
28. He plans for the future and thinks ahead.
29. He forgives easily and always looks for the best in people, giving them the benefit of the doubt.
30. He's responsible and thinks things through.
31. He's willing to ask for help and receive it.
32. He cares deeply about freedom, respect for life, equality.
33. He loves to explore and adventure with me.
34. He is going to be the best dad - patient and calm, fun and loving.
35. He's already the best husband, and I'm the best version of myself with him.

Happy Birthday, Love

It's Mr. Ladd's 34th birthday today!  So I thought I'd share 34 things I love about this guy...

1. That smile, his real one, where his perfectly straight teeth show and his eyes sparkle and crinkle into happy little squints 
2. He's big, strong, and sexy!  I like 'em brawny :-)
3. His ability to fix things that I didn't even realize could be fixed
4. He never does anything half-assed
5. He's protective when it matters, but never jealous or overbearing
6. Such love for our little furry babies, Buddy and Mico
7. An intense curiosity about how things work and why
8. Makes a mean breakfast and anything on the grill
9. Organizational skills that would put Martha Stewart to shame
10. His fierce loyalty to friends, family, and me
11. He takes providing for our family so very seriously
12. He's crazy supportive of my dreams and goals
13. My favorite person to share a vacation, road trip, tent, or happy hour with
14. An intelligence that blows me away
15. A calm, gentle spirit that balances my stubborn, emotional one
16. He never has to be the loudest or the center of attention in a group
17. A drive to innovate and challenge and never settle for good enough
18. He usually says sorry first
19. He hangs lights and sets up multiple trees and indulges my holiday frenzy
20. That he was my first love, prom date, and groom all in one
21. His incredible work ethic, which is so inspiring to me 
22. Always so appreciative of a home cooked meal or folded laundry
23. He loves Jesus, and knows the rest of it just doesn't matter
24. He's my scorpion killer, car washer, and pool guy
25. His logic and practicality balances my idealism and imagination perfectly
26. His adventurous side when he shrugs his shoulders and is all, "F#*% it!  We'll do it live!"
27. Although practical, he has a side to him of grand visions and big dreams
28. He gives generously
29. Finds me most attractive when I'm independent and confident 
30. Him in a scruffy beard and a flannel on a fall day
31. His quick wit and sense of humor
32. His sleepy face when he's just woken up from a nap on the couch
33. He debates and pushes back and challenges me
34. The ability he has to literally bring tears to my eyes when I think about how much I love him, and how lucky I am to call him my husband

Happy Birthday Babe!  I'm so very glad you were born.

When Mom Comes to Visit

My mom and dad were here from Wisconsin for their annual visit a couple weeks ago, and we celebrated my mom's birthday while she was here.  Her actual birthday is February 29th, Leap Day.  So, she only gets a real one every 4 years.  She's like the Olympics.  While they were here, we took a little overnight trip to the mountains so we could truly catch her birthday...that elusive fraction of a second between February 28th and March 1st where her real birthday lies. We showed them Prescott and Jerome, and stayed at the Prescott Pines Inn Bed & Breakfast, which is definitely a favorite of ours. 

My mom is my favorite coffee buddy and one of the few people I like to do some serious shopping with.  Usually I prefer to shop alone, but my mom and I have it down to an art form.  I have inherited her big smile, obsession with throw pillows, and her manic energy when it comes to decorating, especially for Christmas.

Something I've always loved and admired about my mom is her creativity.  She sewed clothes for us when we were little, crocheted, and seemed to always be making some project for the house long before the days of Pinterest. To this day the smell of Hobby Lobby - eucalyptus and unfinished wood - reminds me of the many hours I spent wandering amidst the fabric and art supplies at her favorite craft store.  Now she's pursuing art more seriously and has turned my old bedroom into her studio, and gifts from her almost always include something handmade.  She started it out of necessity I think, because it was cheaper to make clothes at the time, and she needed fresh ways to spruce up the house without spending much money.  I don't think she realizes the gift of creativity she has passed down to us.

While I miss my family back in Wisconsin almost daily, there are benefits to living far away and getting to spend a week at a time with them.  I love when they come visit, because I get to see a different side of my mom.  She got married and started a family very young and sacrificed a lot of herself at times to stay at home raising four of us.  It was probably just survival mode at times with us growing up.  But, she was commenting just how much she is enjoying being a parent now to grown kids.  She loves her new role as friend, advisor, and Nana.

We were sitting around the table talking the first day they were here, comparing the sunny morning to the snow back home in Wisconsin, when she told us how she noticed a snowflake land on her sleeve the other day.  She said it was the first time she had noticed one with the perfect symmetrical detail people speak of.  My dad and I were a little shocked that this was the first time she had ever noticed it, and she was saddened by the realization that she had missed so many magical snowflakes in her life.

My mom has been through a lot, and did not grow up in the best of circumstances.  It's exciting to see her at a point in life where she is really enjoying it.  I feel like she's seeing things with fresh eyes these days - parenting, art, faith, snowflakes, and I'm enjoying getting to know my mom in new ways from across the country.

Happy Birthday Jess

It is my friend Jessica's birthday.  That's her name, Jessica, but I don't like calling her that.  To me she is just Jess.  It fits her and fits our friendship better.  Jessica seems too formal for our relationship because Jess is my sweatpants friend.  Do you have a sweatpants friend?  Do you know what I mean?  She's the kind of friend you can hang out with in sweatpants, no makeup, and not even necessarily showered and it doesn't matter; in fact it's preferred.  She's the kind of friend who comes over for a pool day and you don't care that the rest of your house is a mess, or what you look like in your swimsuit.  You just mix up some fruity drink and make fun of cellulite together. 

Let me back up and let you know how we got to this point.   Her husband, Erik, and Mr. Ladd met in the dorms their freshman year of college back in Wisconsin.  They became friends and later roomates, meaning the three of us became friends as Mr. Ladd and I were kind of a package deal.  Then Erik met Jess a few years later and the rest is history. 

They moved to Arizona about a year before we did, and are really the reason we started to think about moving after this visit.  They were our incredibly generous hosts for 4 months when we first moved out here and were looking for a house, and I wouldn't trade those 4 months for anything.  It was like college again, and when you live with someone and your husbands and your 3 dogs total, you see the good, the bad, and the ugly, and you become sweatpants friends.  

We have had our arguments, I mean knock down drag out arguments, but that's part of what I love about Jess.  She will say what she means, and you can fight about it and then talk about it more calmly the next day, and then you can move on.  This is not a common trait in people unfortunately.  Relationships would be stronger if people were able to move on more frequently after the argument.  

She is passionate about almost everything and makes the best cocktails around.  Some of the funniest moments I have ever experienced have been with her.  Together we  have laughed until we can't breathe frequently, developed a bit of a secret language and accent, consumed an obscene amount of cheese, and often wonder why everyone else can't just be normal.  We have celebrated holidays together, gone on vacation together, and house hunted together.  She is family.

She even celebrates her birthday passionately, starting at the beginning of the month and usually going until the end.  So Jess, on your actual birthday here's to you, my sweatpants friend.
Cheers!  Love you!