LADDventure

Thankful Thursday - Pinching Myself

I am quite literally bursting with gratitude these last few weeks, so here are just a few of the things I am currently thankful for...

• Spring in AZ...enough said

• A kick start to my exercise level with an awesome visit from this lady last week.  We walked, we hiked, we yoga-d, we gabbed like it was a sport, and she called me out lovingly on thinking myself much weaker than I am. 

• The truth of "All Things," (a song off the new album which comes out the 23rd) from 4 of my favorite guys, Citizen Way, available for free download today!

• An incredible opportunity to write a book with Prodigal Press this year! Meeting (via Skype) the co-founders Ally and Darrell, made it so much more real.  I am crazy excited to work with them to make this book happen, and I literally skipped around the house incessantly Tuesday evening.

•  Getting real, community, and healing for people I love

•  These words from Joy in This Journey on the whole marriage equality debate.  Sometimes you read something that expresses your thoughts so exactly it makes you want to bookmark it, read it aloud, and share it with others, so that's what I'm doing.

• An upcoming 8th wedding anniversary with Mr. Ladd, and a weekend away complete with wine tasting and exploring new places to celebrate it!

Happy Birthday Jess

It is my friend Jessica's birthday.  That's her name, Jessica, but I don't like calling her that.  To me she is just Jess.  It fits her and fits our friendship better.  Jessica seems too formal for our relationship because Jess is my sweatpants friend.  Do you have a sweatpants friend?  Do you know what I mean?  She's the kind of friend you can hang out with in sweatpants, no makeup, and not even necessarily showered and it doesn't matter; in fact it's preferred.  She's the kind of friend who comes over for a pool day and you don't care that the rest of your house is a mess, or what you look like in your swimsuit.  You just mix up some fruity drink and make fun of cellulite together. 

Let me back up and let you know how we got to this point.   Her husband, Erik, and Mr. Ladd met in the dorms their freshman year of college back in Wisconsin.  They became friends and later roomates, meaning the three of us became friends as Mr. Ladd and I were kind of a package deal.  Then Erik met Jess a few years later and the rest is history. 

They moved to Arizona about a year before we did, and are really the reason we started to think about moving after this visit.  They were our incredibly generous hosts for 4 months when we first moved out here and were looking for a house, and I wouldn't trade those 4 months for anything.  It was like college again, and when you live with someone and your husbands and your 3 dogs total, you see the good, the bad, and the ugly, and you become sweatpants friends.  

We have had our arguments, I mean knock down drag out arguments, but that's part of what I love about Jess.  She will say what she means, and you can fight about it and then talk about it more calmly the next day, and then you can move on.  This is not a common trait in people unfortunately.  Relationships would be stronger if people were able to move on more frequently after the argument.  

She is passionate about almost everything and makes the best cocktails around.  Some of the funniest moments I have ever experienced have been with her.  Together we  have laughed until we can't breathe frequently, developed a bit of a secret language and accent, consumed an obscene amount of cheese, and often wonder why everyone else can't just be normal.  We have celebrated holidays together, gone on vacation together, and house hunted together.  She is family.

She even celebrates her birthday passionately, starting at the beginning of the month and usually going until the end.  So Jess, on your actual birthday here's to you, my sweatpants friend.
Cheers!  Love you!

Wordless Wednesday

A serious blast from my University of Wisconsin - Oshkosh past.  I could not get over the fact that our friends still had these matches from two of our infamous college establishments. 

 Must make both designs into T-shirts as soon as possible.

And this on the back...enough said.

Thankful Thursday - New Year

Given my motto for 2013 - being intentional about life, a Thankful Thursday is fitting.  It's about taking a minute to purposely reflect on what I'm thankful for, and give myself some instant perspective.  How's that for intentional?  So today, here's what I'm loving:

A growing,loud,wonderfully weird family to have spent the holidays with, and new traditions that made it easier for so much more time with them - less rushing, more lingering, puppy kisses and laughing.

Kissing this guy at midnight on New Years for the 16th time

Great friends to celebrate with, who understand that pizza and pajamas are the best way to ring in

     the New Year sometimes

Learning the secret to making a great old-fashioned

Chilly, frosty nights in Arizona.  Winter is something to be enjoyed around here, preferrably

     with slippers and red wine,  heat lamps and layers while it lasts.

Thankful Thursday - Home for the Holidays

I know it's a day late, but I've been staying up way too late laughing with siblings, so you'll have to take it on a lazy Friday morning instead.  Here's what I'm thankful for as I've been back in Wisconsin for an early Christmas celebration with my family.

1.  Scarves, sweaters, boots and 12 whole days to wear cute, layered, winter outfits
2.  Another Packer win on a snowy memorable Sunday night with my dad
3.  Christmas shopping with my mom
4.  Time with this lady witnessing history and catching up
5.  Lenci's italian beef bombers, Infusino's pizza, and Wilson's coffee
6.  Dinner with my sister and sister-in-laws - all 4 of us in the same place at the same time
7.  My Grandma and her generous, hilarious self
8.  Giggly nieces who are all hopped up on goofball, and a bonus tiny, snuggly, grunty one for her
     first Christmas
9.  Mr. Ladd joining me in Wisconsin tomorrow.  I miss his face.
10.  Dinner and Christmas tea at David and Emily's cozy apartment
11.  Lunch with my mom's best friend Trish, who is family and one of my favorite people to talk to
12.  Lot's of extra time for new traditions, honest conversations, and belly laughing as a family

Join me, @ladderica in sharing your hometown holiday cheer with the hashtag #homefortheholidays on instagram and twitter this month.

Wishing for Presence

I am like a busy squirrel this time of year, tangled in tinsel while I busily prepare my nest for winter.  I hunker down and furiously prepare for the holidays, and find that I have not written nearly enough.  So here's an update...

Thanksgiving flew by, along with the rest of November.  The fall decorations were put away, replaced by twinkling lights and trees. I ate numerous turkey sandwiches and reheated mashed potatoes while immediately decking the halls.  Guest beds have been made and then remade and relatives have come and gone.

The past few weeks have been full...

First, there was a bonus trip back to Wisconsin to meet this little lady...

Then, there was hanging out in green rooms with these guys when they were in Phoenix...

 

This room was literally green.  Bonus.

It was my brother Ben's first visit since we moved here, and it was so nice to hang out and show him our new home.  I absolutely loved the four days of tagging along for sound checks, watching them sign autographs, meet fans, and generally rock.  They have to be humble about it, but I don't!

They sounded amazing, and I am so excited for all that is happening for Citizen Way.  They will be down in Nashville recording the second half of the album the week before Christmas, then touring lots in the first part of the year.  The album is due out this spring!

Then, we hosted a very low key Thanksgiving with Jeremiah's brothers here at our place, which always includes grilling the turkey...

and watching this video multiple times...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy-Y3HJNU_s]

 (If you haven't seen it, you're welcome.)


But sometimes in the midst of full houses, full plates, and full hearts, an emptiness is also highlighted.  This time of year there seems to be a lot of wanting and wishing mixed up with being painfully grateful for what you have at that moment.  Missing your family who lives too far away at this time of year, at the same moment that you are visiting with them.  Sighing over memories as you pull out old ornaments while wishing you had more red ones for the very same tree.  Shopping for others while adding items to your own wish list for Santa.  Resolutions and improvement sit next to reflection and contentment.

For the first time ever, we will not be in Wisconsin on Christmas day.  We are going back around the middle of December to have an early Christmas with my family.  Then, Mr. Ladd's family will be out to Arizona right after Christmas to celebrate. This means more quality time with family and friends overall, and that we'll get to be at our own house for Christmas Eve and Day with some time for ourselves.  But, it also means that things needed to be done earlier than usual and presents bought and shipped strategically.

I am so easily caught up in the holiday business, and I truly love nothing more than making Christmas magic.  However, I inevitably wake up one morning, like today, feeling more than a bit frazzled, with laundry piled up and packing for Wisconsin left to do.  I think of what's left to do, what I'm missing, and what isn't quite right.  The truth is, I need to stop scurrying and decking halls and snapping at Mr. Ladd, and start focusing on what I have and being present where I am before I wish for anything else. 

Ready to Parrrrtay!

Mico and Buddy all ready for the Halloween party as a dragon and a knight!  They were both a little less than impressed with the whole thing.

For the second year in a row, we hosted a big Halloween party at the house this past weekend, and I just adore throwing a good party - especially a holiday one.  I have learned a few things about hosting parties, some that I need to constantly remind myself as I'm running around like a madwoman the day before and my husband is seriously rethinking the idea in the first place.  So I thought I'd share my top 10 tips to make hosting a party more enjoyable for you and your guests:

1.  Do as much ahead of time as possible. That way when it's party time, you can just put everything out and then mingle with your guests and not worry about it.  Cut veggies, make dips, and cook things that can just be reheated well before the party.  Baking can be done days ahead of time.  This spreads out your workload so you are not completely stressed the night before or day of, and it allows you time with your guests.  It is no fun to spend the entire night stuck in the kitchen.

2.  More is more.   I think it is better to put out a spread and have extra leftover than to run out.  I think I'm secretly part Italian.  Nothing kills a party faster than running out of food, beer, or ice too soon. 

3.  Clean up a little bit as you go. But, don't make guests feel like they are messing up your house, or that it's time to go by clearing everything away too soon.

4.  Lighting makes a big difference.  Think candles and lamps instead of bright overhead lights.  Adding twinkly strands of lights are also festive and create a much more inviting atmosphere.

5.  Create gathering areas.  You don't want everyone sitting in a big circle around the outside of the room, staring at each other like they're at a sixth grade dance.  Spread the food out and have plenty of places for guests to perch in smaller groups and set down a drink as they mingle.

6.  Everything doesn't have to be spotless.  For pre-party cleaning, focus on areas guests are going to be in the most like the bathrooms, kitchen, and main living areas.  Don't worry about vacuuming the guest bedroom and cleaning the garage.  I promise no one will notice the basket of unfolded laundry in your bedroom closet.  Don't wear yourself out. 

7.  Music matters. - Silence is awkward, but blaring music makes conversation difficult.  Create a playlist or Pandora station that fits the mood, and pay attention to the noise level.

8.  Provide options at the bar. - I like to set up our side counter in the kitchen as the bar, with some sort of specialty cocktail like a sangria or witch's brew (like this past weekend) already made.  Then I usually stick to a dark and light liquor option with mixers and sodas out in a 'serve yourself' fashion. Beer is usually stocked in both the outside and inside fridges.  I like to try to make the first couple of guests that arrive their first drink, and then encourage everyone to help themselves after that with ice, glasses, and straws all at the ready.  Don't forget non-alcoholic options and water bottles for guests to grab. 

9.  Be selective about asking guests to bring things. - Generally if I am hosting a party, I don't ask guests to bring anything.  I try to let them know up front what the plan is -  for example, drinks, appetizers, and dessert will be served.  That way nobody feels obligated to bring anything.  If you are having a more casual party or want people to help out by bringing something, I would be specific about one thing they can bring and have it kind of fit the theme...for example if you are having a wine and pizza night, ask them to bring their favorite bottle of wine to share, or for a potluck bbq maybe ask them to bring an appetizer to share.  But never ask them to bring more than one thing.  In my opinion,  asking guests to bring an appetizer, a dessert, and whatever they want to drink makes people wonder why you are hosting the party if they have to provide everything for themselves.  Remember they are your guests, and hospitality goes a long way.

10.  You set the tone.  A piece of advice our wedding D.J. gave us before our wedding was to remember that the bride and groom set the tone.  If you are out dancing and having a good time, everyone else will be too.  The same applies for parties.  If you are nervous and uptight or dull and tired, your guests will be too.  If you are welcoming and friendly, introducing people and having a good time, your guests will follow suit.

Unfair

I woke up earlier than usual to a chilly, grayish morning and got out of bed because it seemed to fit.   I fell asleep and woke up with chilly, grayish thoughts, and I just wanted to process them.

I was thinking of my good friend on a plane ride from overseas to get back to her family going through the unthinkable.  That's too long to have to sit on a plane with sadness, and jet lag on top of grief just isn't fair.

I was also thinking of the shooting in a spa back in Wisconsin, too close to home.  Someone we know works there and is ok, but so much ugliness in a place of beauty and relaxation just isn't fair.

There is no fair.  Life is all of the above.  Addiction, violence, pain, and loss mixed in with family, celebration, healing, and love. There is emptiness in the midst of fullness, fear surrounded by confidence, and loneliness in a crowded room. The juxtaposition is heartbreaking at times.  Unfair.  Chilly, grayish mornings turn into blazing sunny days, and sometimes it just feels too bright and too warm.

Wordless Wednesday

Barcelo

It is through watery eyes that I write about a precious doggy soul who is now resting in peace.  Barcelo was our friend Eric and Laura's beautiful boxer.  They had to put him down today way earlier in his life than they wanted to, but he was sick and weak, and needed to be laid to rest.  I have been crying about it for the last 2 days and am trying to get my head around what's so hard about it for me.

I think it's emotional because my heart breaks for Eric and Laura, and because besides being such a sweet, fun dog, Barcelo represents a lot.  He was their first 'baby,' and I will never forget going to see him for the first time at 7 weeks old the chilly night they brought him home in his little mini fleece.  They had just gotten married, and named him after their honeymoon resort in Mexico.  He officially made them a family. That night was also one of the first times we were ever over at Eric and Laura's house. We had been acquaintances.  I went to high school with Eric, and we had some mutual friends, but Jeremiah had just started working out with him at the gym, and we were starting to get to know Laura.  We were engaged to be married the following spring.  I feel like we needed couple friends at that point in time, and meeting Barcelo that night marked the beginning of a friendship that we cherish.

When Barcelo was just about a year old, Eric and Laura also picked up a sassy little Italian greyhound/rat terrier mix at the pet store.  He was on clearance, and they couldn't resist.  We ended up with him the next night because Barcelo was still a big puppy and would scoop him up and slide him across the floor with his big paws or pin him down to play and the little guy just kept coming back for more.  This was clearly not going to work out so well, given their size difference at the time.  Jeremiah had just told me we could start looking for a little dog for our little apartment, so we went to Eric and Laura's armed with a checkbook and brought him home that night.  Now we were a family too.

I like to think there would be no Mico without Barcelo, and as Mico got bigger they were able to play and become fast friends. We named him Mico because he is part Italian and the Italian word for friend is 'amico.'  Fitting.

I firmly believe that God created dogs to be our companions, and help us understand how to live more fully and love more deeply.  The kind of love that just shows up and is always present;  at the door when you walk in, curled up behind your knees on the couch, and alongside you on a walk.  Quietly, steadily, just there. Barcelo was just that - gentle, sturdy love in the form of a wagging nubbin tale, a wrinkly concerned forehead, and velvety ears. We all learned a lot from Barcelo - that you should run with abandon through fields sometimes, not caring that your big cheeks are flapping in the wind and drool is flying everywhere. He taught us that anybody can be a friend no matter how different from you they might be, playing with Mico who was 1/4 of his size and treating him as an equal.  Most importantly, he taught us that no matter how big and strong you are, sometimes you just need to lean your heavy head into someone you love, or let them carry you for a while.

Goodbye for now, Big B!  I have no doubt you will greet us at the door of Heaven just like you did at home, with a wiggling butt and lots of slobber.