LADDventure

Dear Teacher

This time last year I was unwrapping sweet little gifts from my second graders and collecting sweaty fistfuls of flowers in a water bottle vase.  It was Teacher Appreciation Day, and the most meaningful gifts I received were just the ones that let me know that the work I was doing mattered to somebody.  I believe feeling appreciated is really all about feeling seen.  This year, I am removed from the classroom and working on a book about teaching, but I have something to say to teachers everywhere today.

Dear Teacher,

I see you.  I see that you are exhausted, because every single person you come in contact with throughout the day needs something from you. I see you limping toward the finish line of the school year on caffeine and a prayer.  I see you buying those crayons, glue sticks, books, and even paper with your own money.  I see that every August you swear you're not going to spend so much, but each year you can't resist redecorating your classroom to make it home for your students. I see that when the bell rings at 2:35, or 3:05 or 3:50, your day is not even close to done.  I see you keeping 25, 30, even 40 kids alive and well and learning something every day.  I see that those kids are nothing compared to the adults you deal with every day.  I see you documenting, modifying, and analyzing, while motivating, comforting, and counseling.

I see all of these things, and this is what I want you to know:  Know that you have made a difference, even when you feel like all you've made it through is another day.  Know that for some of your students, you are all they have.  Know that sometimes kids don't get what's best for them for reasons out of your control, and that your best within the situation is good enough.  Know that you will never convince everyone of how hard you work, and you don't need to.  Know that a sense of humor and a nap are invaluable.  Know that your health, sanity, and family matter most.  Protect them.  Know that for every upset parent, manipulative politician, or hindering administrator who makes you the problem, there is a grateful community member like me who sees you and appreciates you.

Thank You,
Me

Love Is The Evidence

Image from citizenwaymusic.com

Citizen Way's album finally drops today!  I'm listening to it as I write and grinning big.  I bought a hard copy because I want to hold the finished product of so much hard work in my hands, but then I realized I wouldn't be able to listen to it until it was delivered.  So, I bought the mp3 version also!  I am so crazy proud of my brothers and the other brothers :-)

Of course I'm biased, and knowing the story behind the music and watching this process that started 8 years ago, has made me love this CD even more. That aside, it is catchy and positive but gorgeous and meaningful.  I have to admit that I don't typically listen to "christian music," outside of church.  I don't feel that it necessarily needs to be christian music to point to God who is all things love and truth, but this does just that. It is real and soulful, and love really is the evidence in every song and in these four guys!

Ben, David, Ben, and Josh,
Congratulations on dreams coming true.  I know the hard work this has been, and I am so excited that the world gets to hear it now!  It's been a crazy year, but I hope today especially you stop to savor every last bite of what God has served up.  You are beyond talented, and just keep loving well and taking the next step.  I'm so proud of you!


They are touring right now, and there are still a couple of weekends left to check them out live.

Go buy the CD on amazon, itunes, or their website!

Random Reading - Words

I have been immersed in words this week, and words were all I could focus on.  I set and stuck to a writing schedule and finished my first rough outline of my book project (mini squeal).  I dove into new books that I had been eagerly awaiting to devour.  I spent hours on profound blog posts that inspired, challenged, and said exactly what I felt.  Words were bookmarked, highlighted, read aloud at our kitchen table, forwarded to other people, and talked about over the phone.  Song lyrics were belted out full of tears and truth.  Words clarified things, illuminated things, put things in perspective, and I've been breathing and dreaming nothing but words this week. 

This weekend, Mr. Ladd and I will be celebrating our 8th anniversary in Arizona's wine country!  (Arizona  has a wine country?  Yup, I'll share it with you next week)  So, I thought I'd leave you with some weekend reading in the meantime.  I hope these words impact you like they've impacted me recently.

I can't stop talking about Bread & Wine, by Shauna Niequist for good reason.  I wrote about it here.  Buy it.  Put it on your kitchen counter.  It's beautiful.  It's a new approach to the table.

Carry on Warrior, by Glennon Doyle Melton also came out recently and wow...just wow!  Seester and I have been following her blog, Momastery, for a while now, and have our own little book club going on with this one.  I can't tell you how timely, real, and healing Glennon's words have been.

I came across this honest post in which Elise's husband had the perfect words.

If  The C Word (Christianity) has ever made you nervous or curious, mad, confused, you name it, read this blog post by one of my favorite new writers on the internet.

I am a fan of Dancing With the Stars.  There, I said it out loud.  Andy Dick's story about sobriety &  his daughter this past week was so touching.  His sincere and vulnerable dance to some of the most beautiful words ever written, "Hallelujah," by Leonard Cohen, literally brought tears to my eyes.

http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/IM61qSfYDqk&source=uds

Speaking of words, my brothers were kind enough to unknowingly help me out today by punctually tweeting this lyric video of Citizen Way's latest single. 

http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/D-lvu54wBOU&source=uds

To All Creators of Words,

Thank you for sharing them, fueling us, helping us breathe, and making us cry.
Keep writing them.

Sincerely,
Readers

Bread & Wine

 

I have a lovely stack of cookbook types on my kitchen counter - the kind of cookbooks that go beyond recipes, and are too beautiful to stay hidden in the pantry.  I started the stack with the arrival of Bread & Wine in mind, knowing it would find its place right on top.  More than a collection of recipes, this book is collection of stories.

It's a memoir; an ode to life around the table.  Recipes are sprinkled in among stories of Shauna's life and what she's learned from coming to the table with people she loves.  It's about inviting others into our messy lives, opening up, and slowing down. It's about memories, community, and how we feed ourselves physically, spiritually and emotionally.  

I have been waiting impatiently for this book, following Shauna's blog and tweets about her writing process, and it has not disappointed. I wrote here about the honor of being involved in her project.  I got to test Annette's Enchiladas and give feedback, and might have squealed a bit when I saw my name in the acknowledgements as a recipe tester! Shauna's words have resonated so deeply with me since her first book, and I have gobbled up every one of them in her third.  The pages of my copy of Bread & Wine are already dog-earred and smudged with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. 

I can't stop making Robin's Lentil Soup, and I wasn't even positive what a lentil was or that I'd enjoy one previously.  Mr. Ladd and I have fallen in love with the Blueberry Crisp, and I am now the kind of girl who makes her own Balsamic Vinaigrette just to have on hand.  

The recipes are short with simple, wholesome ingredients in easy measurements.  She starts out each one with her personal notes and tips - the kind of advice your mom gives you over the phone when giving you a recipe, adding her opinions about where you should stick to it strictly and where you can deviate.  In my opinion this book is the perfect place to start if you are thinking about cooking or entertaining more often.  It is not about showing off or being fancy.  It is about simple, lovely ways to feed yourself and the people around you, and what happens when you do.

I think what's so special about this book is that it satisfies a craving for authenticity.  We rush through our days not even bothering to feed ourselves with intention, let alone the people we love.  This is a call to stop and be brave enough to connect in real ways around real food.

I'll leave you with Shauna herself inviting you to enjoy her latest creation...

http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/-d_0-2_SkSs&source=uds

Happy 30th Birthday Ben

Today my younger brother Ben turns 30.  He is only 2 years younger than me, so he was my first sibling, my first friend, and the first one I tormented.  When he was little, he was a shock of white blond hair, wild eyebrows and manic laughter as he ran around the house on his tiptoes.  As a typical older sister, I tattled on him and hurt his feelings, but fiercely defended him against all neighborhood foes at the same time.

Ben is passionate about everything he does and pursues things with an almost religious devotion to knowing all there is to know about that subject.  We probably poke too much fun at him for sharing all the knowledge he has found on said subjects at random moments, but the truth is I admire his wholehearted approach to life.  He is fluent in German, even living there for a short while, immersing himself in the language and culture.  He completely taught himself to play bass and is now a professional musician and signed recording artist with his band, Citizen Way.




 
He got married the same year I did to this lovely lady, and 7 years later, they have given us two beautiful nieces.



It has been amazing to watch him devote his trademark enthusiasm to being an incredible father and husband.  His family is missing him tons today as he is on tour, but I know their support means the world to him, and it is inspiring to watch them pull together and do hard things.  They are writing an incredible story on the lives of their family, and I am proud of them.

Intense is a great word to describe Ben.  He can't sit still, has no shortage of opinions, and is always hungry. But he's also loyal, principled, chivalrous.  He listens to stories with eyebrows raised, anticipating your every word, and he even laughs with intensity, his whole body convulsing and then crumpling to the floor in silent hysterics.

So happy 30th birthday, Ben!  Keep laughing, loving, and living with that intensity that is too often missing from this world.

Invitation to Tea

This morning I am up early.  I wake to a headache that turns into an invitation to join the day way before I normally would.  I decide to take the day up on its offer after laying in bed for a bit, listening to the sounds of Mr. Ladd readying himself to go into the office.  Some mornings I shove a pillow over my head, annoyed at the predictable sounds of his morning routine.  But other mornings, I love the steadiness of it...how I know he's going to put lotion on after he puts in his contacts, or how  (ever the multitasker) he will get dressed while brushing his teeth, thumping from the closet to the dresser with bare feet and a toothbrush in his mouth.  I know he'll put his shoes on before his shirt, and this morning, I love him for his quirky, dependable patterns.

After he leaves, I head downstairs in a sweatshirt and slippers, relishing the silent morning chill that will only be around for a couple more months.  The dogs remain burrowed under blankets upstairs, unwilling to comply with my unusual timing.  It's just before sunrise, and the sky is Earl Grey, with warm tea stained edges at the horizon where the sun is stirring.  I stand at the kitchen counter with my toast in hand, staring out the window, not wanting to miss it. The first birds are sounding the alarm sleepily as kitchen and bedroom windows begin to light up in the surrounding houses.  Neighbors are rising for work and school.

As the sun lights up the palm trees from underneath, setting them on fire, I am grateful.  Many mornings I've only cursed this hour, well into the frantic norm of rushed preparation for the day ahead; quickly grabbing a boring lunch, putting on sensible shoes, and mainlining caffeine as I tried to recall too many obligations.  I had missed it, but today I will not.  I am given an invitation to slowly join the day, so I take it, sitting down with the sun to sip some tea and feed my soul.

Wordless Wednesday - A Pep Talk

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-gQLqv9f4o]

2013 - The Year of Intention

This blog exists to remind me to live life and then document said life with adventurous intention.  2012 was The Year of New.  It was about taking leaps, pulling triggers, and starting over.  I'm getting good at that part, the bright shiny new part.  I am good about diving in, closing my eyes and just ripping off the band-aid.  I've talked before about tending to be an all or nothing kind of girl.  I make grand proclamations and passionately rearrange my life seeking adventure and being repulsed by the fearful and wimpy in myself and others.  So, being intentionally adventurous is starting to come naturally.

But, there is another side to that life motto.  It's having adventurous intention.  Daring to be intentional about life, to do things on purpose.  Not to live unconsciously, but to make day to day decisions to create the life you want to live.  Now, this part has been more than a little hard for me.  It's not nearly as sexy and exciting as the adventurous part.  This part requires daily habits, discipline, and follow through (curses). 

So if last year was about the adventurous - changing careers, trying something new, stepping outside my comfort zone - this year, 2013 will be about the intentional. I want be mindful of intention in all areas of life.  So instead of a whole bunch of resolutions, I will stick to that overarching goal.  Here's what I'm thinking that will look like:

Being intentional about writing:

• Write from 9-12 every morning Monday-Friday, you know, like it's my job.
• Finish the children's book I started, and put other book ideas to paper.
• Post on the blog at least 5 times a week, and take this online class about blog design, so I can move my blog to the next level.

Being intentional about family:

• Plan regular date nights with Mr. Ladd. I know it sounds cliche, but they make a difference. 
• Develop a clear direction for starting a family, and then walk in that direction.
• Follow through on those good ideas I have about nice things I can do for friends/family.

Being intentional about health:

• Find a regular doctor.
• Lose weight by using Weight Watchers and getting back to my Waist Management goals.
• Get some sort of exercise every day.  Yes, even when it's 100 degrees, and I decide it's too hot to even sneeze.

Being intentional about my appearance:

• Put on some sort of makeup every day and wash it off every night before bed.  I am getting too old for the fresh face look, and also too old to not take good care of my skin.
• Dress for the day I want to have, not the one that's trying to have me.  Thanks abbyleigh.
• Make the messy bun the hair exception and not the rule. Yes, even when it's 100 degrees.  I can be more creative than that.

Being intentional about photography:

• Follow through on the DSLR photography class I took, and applying the info by taking said DSLR off of automatic mode (gasp).
• Fix my dysfunctional relationship with Photoshop.
• Figure out an organization/storage/printing system that works for us, so it's easier to share and enjoy the photos.

Being intentional about faith:

• Go regularly to the church we really do love.
• Get involved in some way to meet people.
• Read and write more about growing spiritually.

Being intentional about home:

•  Develop and stick to some sort of house upkeep schedule
• Make our bed every day.  I'm starting to believe that's the catalyst to all things productive for the rest of the day.
• Find a place for everything, and put everything in its right place.

It may all seem like a lot, and I could make all of those things into individual resolutions, but really if I just keep my focus on living life with intention and purpose they all make sense.

So here's to 2013 - The Year of Intention!  What are your goals, resolutions or mottos for 2013?

Unfair

I woke up earlier than usual to a chilly, grayish morning and got out of bed because it seemed to fit.   I fell asleep and woke up with chilly, grayish thoughts, and I just wanted to process them.

I was thinking of my good friend on a plane ride from overseas to get back to her family going through the unthinkable.  That's too long to have to sit on a plane with sadness, and jet lag on top of grief just isn't fair.

I was also thinking of the shooting in a spa back in Wisconsin, too close to home.  Someone we know works there and is ok, but so much ugliness in a place of beauty and relaxation just isn't fair.

There is no fair.  Life is all of the above.  Addiction, violence, pain, and loss mixed in with family, celebration, healing, and love. There is emptiness in the midst of fullness, fear surrounded by confidence, and loneliness in a crowded room. The juxtaposition is heartbreaking at times.  Unfair.  Chilly, grayish mornings turn into blazing sunny days, and sometimes it just feels too bright and too warm.

An Honor

My favorite author, Shauna Niequist recently tweeted that she needed recipe testers for her new book coming out this spring - a collection of essays and recipes called Bread & Wine:  Finding Community and Life Around the Table.  I happened to be on Twitter at that exact moment and instantly emailed in response to participate.  I didn't think I would be picked, as just a limited number of people were needed, but was thrilled to get an email from her assistant later that week with the enchilada recipe. I would be testing and giving feedback on the recipe before it was finalized for the book, and then my name would go in the book as an official recipe tester.  Squeal!

To be any small part of Shauna's project is so exciting for me.  Her words have quite literally changed the way I look at life.  My sister-in-law recommended her first book, Cold Tangerines:  Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life by handing it casually to me before leaving for the night when I was babysitting my niece.  After my niece went to bed, I started reading and proceeded to gobble up the entire collection of essays about life and faith before my brother and sister-in-law even got home.  I inhaled it, with large tears streaming down my cheeks at certain points. No words had ever resonated so exactly with me.  I wanted to cover every single chapter in neon highlighter shouting, "yes, yes, yes!" at the end of each sentence.

I pulled Cold Tangerines out again about a year later and read it more carefully, sitting in the sun of my Wisconsin backyard for the last summer I would spend there.  It was a big season of change as we were thinking about moving to Arizona for an adventure, and Shauna's thoughts about celebrating life spoke to me in a whole new way. This time I wanted to carefully savor each word just like the colors in my garden and the feel of the cool grass on my feet, soaking up their beauty and truth.  They emboldened me, and encouraged me to live a life I'd want to write about and then to do just that.  So, I started this blog to document the adventure and to live life more consciously.

Her next book, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way

was the first book I have ever pre-ordered.  I couldn't wait to get my hands on it, and although the themes were different, her writing was raw and honest and achingly beautiful. I relate more and more to that book all the time, weaving the calm and the storm together and appreciating both. 

I buy most books for my Kindle these days, but I always want a hard copy of hers.  I don't have either of those first two on my shelf right now, because I keep buying them and then giving them away.  When guests need something to read on the plane ride home, or I need a gift for somebody, they get one of Shauna's books.  I don't recommend them in the same casual way I do others I like.  When good books come up in conversation, I force my copy on them, and insist that they just keep it and read it immediately.

So I pre-ordered Bread & Wine, knowing I will want to crack it open as soon as possible, breathing in its new book smell, devouring the stories, and smudging the recipe pages with ingredients from my own kitchen.  Shauna writes a lot about cooking, entertaining, and sharing life with others, so to test the recipe, it was only appropriate to invite over some friends that we'd been meaning to get together with for a while.  We shared lovely conversation and the pumpkin empanadas they had brought for dessert, and they agreed the enchiladas were delicious.  They were total comfort food, and the kind of thing that is even better out of the pan cold the next day, just as Shauna described.  So if this recipe is any indication, I can't wait to try out the rest and spend more time living life around the table.

Click here to pre-order your own copy from Amazon.