LADDventure

Intentional December

After a busy week of our last adoption home visit, a new front door installation, Thanksgiving, Christmas decorating, and a week back in Wisconsin for an early Christmas celebration, I started December feeling already frazzled and hurried. Then I blinked and December was halfway over.

I dove head first into Christmas by pulling out all the decorations. Inside one of the many red and green bins, laying on top of the tree skirt was a sealed envelope with "Remember..." on it in my own handwriting. Inside was our Christmas card from last year with a two column list written on the back. One column for things that worked well and made me feel good last Christmas, and one for things that did not. Last Christmas I'd written it and tucked it inside the bin right after packing up every last ornament. I had nearly forgotten this little attempt to send my future self a few helpful tips and things to focus on, knowing that I'd need it when the holiday craziness set in.

It's amazing how quickly the frantic hustle sets in whether you want it to or not. I've found the only way to combat it is to slow down, and to intentionally plan what you want your holiday to look like instead of letting it happen to you. So that's what I did. I looked up local holiday events and planned a night with Mr. Ladd to go look at a light display. I bought tickets to a local theatre's production of A Christmas Carol for my birthday. We'll go to the play and then out for dinner and drinks afterwards. I also sat down with my calendar and planned out the month, invited some friends over, made some space to connect with people over dinner and around the table. Whats the point in painstakingly decking the halls and setting a beautiful table if nobody gathers there?

I'm scheduling my priorities, making room for a few events that are meaningful around those, and then saying no to everything else to leave room for peace and rest and connection. I also have so many things I want to write about in December and never make the time to write here in this space. So, I'm carving out some time early on these gloriously chilly mornings to wrap up the year on the blog. Tomorrow, an adoption update. Stay tuned.

Thankful Thursday - Sweatshirt Edition

Sometimes on Thursdays, I'm thankful for stuff...

The return of sweatshirt season here in the desert. It was 90 during the day still right up until November, so this is a big deal, and I'm enjoying every chilly, cozy moment.

The opportunity to write for a living. Well, I couldn't really live off of it yet, but you know, people pay for a book I wrote.

Inspiring friends who keep me motivated

Two little cuddle pup sidekicks

Mr. Ladd, who has been working so hard to help me get the house ready for our home visit on Monday

Chobani Oats Apple Cinnamon greek yogurt. Try it. You'll be thankful too.

My favorite time of year quickly approaching. Fa la la la la la la la la!

 

Awkward Rambling & Adoption Updates

I realize it's been over a month since I've posted here; an unintentional blogging break. Apparently I needed it, but I didn't just plan for a break when I should have, and instead ended up walking away for a little too long. I've been rethinking some book marketing things, and thinking about what's next, and what my writing online will look like going forward, but in the meantime it got weird.

I was listening to a podcast episode the other day (Elise Gets Crafty), and Elise was talking about enjoying the creative process. When working on something she finds that she just needs to be working consistently enough so she doesn't get so far away from it, or let so much time pass that it's hard to get back into it. I could totally relate.

It's like when you haven't called a friend for no good reason, for a few too many weeks, and it becomes awkward to call now, because it feels like it's been a bit too long. That's how I've felt about blogging lately. It's been hard to get back into it. We've been busy around here with our final adoption visit scheduled for Monday, and things are happening quickly, so that feels a little crazy. But the truth is I just got burned out, and ran out of words, and then let too much time pass so writing has been hard to get back into. But I've missed it. I've missed all of you. So at the risk of being a little rambly, I'm just going to pick up the phone and call. Let's get back into it, all awkward-like shall we?

You may have noticed that November is National Adoption Month. I had every intention of participating with some adoptive mama-to-be posts, but I have all the thoughts and all the feelings and have been finding it near impossible to narrow down one to write a post on. Then I blinked and November was more than half over. So, let me just start with a quick update...

We are in the home stretch in terms of certification. We have our final home visit/inspection scheduled for Monday! This is the culmination of the home study process over the past few months. Our adoption agency specialist will ask us any final questions, do the official safety inspection of the house, and will then submit our completed home study to court for certification. I'm told that process can take anywhere from 2-8 weeks on average. After we're certified, we'll be on the central registry and officially waiting for a placement. 

We are pretty much set for the appointment, just finishing up a few final things around the house. The truth is, she could come tomorrow and we'd be just fine, so I am actively refusing to freak out about this. It's nerve-wracking, but I know it will be fine, and I do not want to waste energy on unnecessary anxiety. I have a feeling I'm going to need that energy.

The kids' rooms are almost ready! I will post some pics soon. We've been filling up the rooms with books, making them cozy, and generally wandering into them trying to fathom the fact that little people will inhabit them soon.

In the meantime, we're just trying to be present and enjoy our time as a family of two while it lasts. We've been going on more dates and spontaneous day trips, just because we can. We're looking forward to what is most likely our last Christmas without kids. We also have had a lot of conversations about how we can support each other in the stressful times around the corner, and are just stocking up on some couple time.

Much more to come in the next few weeks about the adoption, and all the other floaty thoughts in my head lately, I promise. It's good to be back!

P.S. I've still been recording The Girl Next Door Podcast with Kelsey. Most recently we talked about burnout on this episode. Timely.

Next in October

My theme word for the year is "next," both a reminder to take one step at a time, and to keep going when things get tough. To do the next right thing to move me toward the big goals and happenings of this year. So, each month I'm looking ahead to what's next.

It's October! Fallelujah! Enough said.

Next in travel... No travel to speak of lately around these parts. But, I do love being home this time of year, fallifying the house and planning for holidays and entertaining ahead. We definitely have a few mountain weekends in mind though. I'll keep you posted.

Next in adoption... I painted one of the kids' rooms, and have been rearranging them both and setting them up. We got the carpets cleaned and both are a blank slate now, ready for some finishing touches. Hopefully we'll have our final home visit by the end of the month, and our agency specialist told us we're her next adoptive family to submit for certification. Also, our friends threw us a suprise adoption shower! More on that Monday. 

Next in writing... This is tricky for me right now. After working on Candid Classroom for the past year and a half, I'm finding myself flailing a bit in the writing department now that the concrete project of finishing the book is over. I'm trying to get back into a more consistent writing schedule, set some goals for completion of a new project, and generally stop staring at the screen blankly. Stay tuned. In the meantime The Girl Next Door Podcast is keeping me busy and so much fun. Check out this week's episode where we freak the freak out about fall!

Next in food... I declare every Sunday this month as soup day. I've discovered how simple and tasty it is to make my own soups, and I can't get enough. There is something so comforting and relaxing about a big pot of soup simmering on the stove on a lazy Sunday afternoon. So every Friday for the rest of the month,  I'll share a Soup of the Week recipe here on the blog, so you can grab your ingredients in time for Sunday.

Next in life... As I've said, we've been purging like crazy around here in preparation for expanding the family, and I am once again reminded about the very real connection between cluttered homes and cluttered lives. I'm feeling more and more passionate about surrounding ourselves with truly useful and/or beautiful things and letting go of the rest to make some breathing room. We are pretty neat people in general, but it is mindblowing how quickly things accumulate.

What I Know About Ferguson

I hesitate to write about hard topics like this sometimes, mostly because I don't want to merely be another voice weighing in with my two cents. I don't want to be capitalizing off of a hashtag. There are already so many voices speaking about what's happening in Ferguson after the police killing of Mike Brown - voices that are closer to the situation, more affected, blacker than mine.

But here's the thing. Nobody seems to be listening to those voices...

When they say there is a historical and present reality of racial tensions and profiling between the black community and police.

When they say they are afraid for the lives of their black sons for reasons parents of white sons don't ever worry about.

When they say there is a media bias in the portrayal of blacks.

When a man is killed in Walmart by police for holding an airsoft gun he intended to purchase, when an ASU professor is tackled by police for jaywalking, when Stop and Frisk is an actual reality.

So maybe it's time for other voices to start speaking up, so that their own neighbors, friends, and family start to listen because it's coming from one of their own. So I'm going to speak up as someone who can no longer publicly ignore some of these problems. I don't and can't know exactly how the people of Ferguson are feeling, but there are some things I do know...

I know that as a potential adoptive mother to young black males, I cannot deny the fact that raising them looks different in our society, and there will be things I worry about that I would not otherwise.

I know that racism and white privilege are real things which cannot be ignored and that "colorblindness" is not a solution.

I know we cannot ignore the history of violence against and dehumanizing of blacks in our not so distant past and how that impacts the present and future.

I know that white people refusing to listen to the voices of black people about their own experiences being black in America is a lot like men trying to tell women how it feels to be pregnant, and that they should just get over morning sickness, and that they're imagining their mood swings.

I know that arguing whether Brown was a good kid or not is basically arguing over whether he specifically deserved to die, and is in itself disgraceful.

I know that distractions like the looting and black-on-black violence are just that, distractions from the main problem, when they should serve to illustrate it. Martin Luther King Jr. himself said that "a riot is the language of the unheard."

I know that the mere use of the term "riot" and cops in riot gear can turn a peaceful but heated demonstration into said riot.

I know that the militarization of our police is a frightening reality with real consequences, and that freedom does not look like peaceful protestors and reporters being gassed, shot at, and arrested.

I don't have a simple solution, and don't think there is one. But, I do know that something needs to change, and the only way to change is to first acknowledge the problem and our part in it. The people who have the luxury of not having to deal with it, need to choose to deal with it, and believe the voices of the the only people who have the right to speak to their own experiences.

photo credit: heliumfactory via photopin cc

It's Finally Here!

Friends, that right there in my hand is my book. I can hardly believe it, and I've never been more proud of anything in my life. It's been the hardest and most rewarding thing I've ever worked on. It's a dream come true, a year and a half in the making, and I am so excited to share it with you today!

This book is a combination of cherished stories from my years as a teacher and the valuable insight and practical tips for parents and teachers those years have taught me. Being a teacher will always be a part of who I am, and this feels like the perfect way to bridge the transition from teacher to writer.

Whether you're a parent, a teacher, or just anyone who has ever gone to school, this book is for you. It's officially available on Amazon now, and I'd so appreciate it if you'd buy a copy, leave a review, and share it with anyone you think may enjoy it.

I can't thank you enough for your excitement and encouragment throughout this entire process, and your continued support as I share it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some celebrating to do!

Just Sorry

I've been a bit of a wreck lately. Feeling raw, bare, frayed at the edges. This adoption process is more emotional than I was expecting at this point in the journey, taking classes and completing paperwork. It's all good stuff, to be processing what our kids are going through as they navigate the foster system, to think about our own family history and current family situations, and to begin to prepare to parent these littles. But, it's hard and it touches those bare wires of emotional nerve endings you may not have realized were exposed.

On top of that, I'm nearing the launch of my book, and feeling nervous, elated, tired... all of the above with plenty of promotional work ahead. After last week with something scheduled every night including three-hour adoption classes on two different nights, I found myself incapable of dealing with even the smallest of inconveniences or stresses. A monsoon made a mess of our outdoor furniture on the one day we hadn't prepared and brought it in ahead of time. Our cushions were soaking wet, and the wind shattered a potted plant and my nerves. Then we got two pool fence estimates yesterday and for some reason, discussing them with Mr. Ladd sent me over the edge. I snapped at him, irrationally yelling at him over the color of the fence. Hmmm. Clearly not about the pool fence.

So I told him to leave me alone, and sat sulking upstairs, contemplating apologizing and combining it with some explanation of my behavior when I realized there was none. I let myself off the hook, and decided to offer a much more sincere apology. Sometimes things are just hard, and we don't react well to them and there is no good reason. So I went downstairs with lowered defenses and said a simple, "I'm sorry. I was wrong. There is no reason for me to react like that, and I'm sorry." I am not usually the one to offer the first apology when we're not getting along. Mr. Ladd is a much bigger man than me in that arena. When I do offer it first, I often buffer it with an explanation of my feelings and how the whole situation could have just been avoided in the first place. But, I'm learning to just say sorry. Sometimes what you don't say offers the most sincere and honest apology.

5 years of blogging

I can hardly believe it, but it's been five years to the date since I dipped my toe into this world of blogging and hit publish on my very first post! At the time, I had this stirring to start writing, regularly, around the same time we had a stirring to move cross-country from Wisconsin to Arizona. It felt like it could actually happen, and it also felt like I should be documenting it. The move was starting to get real, and I knew it would happen quickly if we decided to actually take the plunge, so I thought the best way to keep friends and family updated and stay sane might be to start a blog. 310 posts later, here we are!

Even though I feel like I'm just starting to connect with a larger audience, this space means so much to me. It's this special digital scrapbook of the past five years. It's been an excuse to write, sometimes more regularly than others, and push myself creatively in all sorts of ways. It's also grown alongside my philosophy of living life with adventurous intention. They've happened simultaneously, and one has fed the other. Since that first post on June 30, 2009, the LADDventures have continued. I've moved across the country, quit my teaching job to pursue writing full time, traveled to New York City and San Diego for writing conferences, started another blog, launched a podcast, and written a book, and it all begins with seeing myself as a writer here in this little corner of the internet first.

The blog started as a documentation of our jouney west, and followed us to Arizona, where it's just crazy to me that we will meet our kids! Now, I am so grateful for this space to share the process of adoption, and becoming a family of four.

In honor of my 5 year blog-iversary I have one request: I'd love for you to join my email list by subscribing to get all the latest blog posts right to your inbox. I promise I won't spam you or share your email address. It's just my way of knowing who's reading, keeping everyone updated, and creating a community here in this space.

Finally, I want to say thank you for reading! Thank you for your comments and encouragement, and for sharing my blog with others. It means more to me than you will ever know, and I am so thankful for all of you.

Summer Bucket List 2014

For me, anything after Memorial Day is officially summer, and let's face it, it's already been over 100 degrees for weeks here in the desert so it's here to stay. We still have plenty of summer left, and it helps me get through the hot months to make a list of all the fun goals I have for this long season. Plus, this will most likely be our last summer before we have kids, so it feels particularly special. Here's what's planned so far...

• Get a library card
• Visit the Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, and Lake Michigan
• Vacation in Key West!  (Blog post coming soon)
• Go on at least three Jeep day trips (1 down)
• Go on a boat ride
• Go to a baseball game
• Get a massage
• Try a lobster roll for the first time
• Throw a big pool party
• Never run out of this rhubarb simple syrup or crisp
• Have a few pool days
• Institute neighborhood night swims
• Keep my potted plants alive (no easy task for AZ summers)
• Go on an ice cream date
• Watch some fireworks
• Get away to the mountains for a cabin weekend
• Watch The Sandlot, National Lampoon's Vacation, and Fried Green Tomatoes (ultimate summer movies)
• Go camping
• Catch up with teacher friends (they're off!)
• Hold my finished book in my hands and celebrate! (August 4th)

Next in June

My theme word for the year is "next," both a reminder to take one step at a time, and to keep going when things get tough. To do the next right thing to move me toward the big goals and happenings of this year. So, each month I'm looking ahead to what's next. Here's what's coming up in June...

Next in travel...We are taking a mini vacation to Key West! Mr. Ladd is working in Miami for a couple weeks, so I'm meeting him there for a long weekend getaway to Key West. I'm looking forward to cooler temps, ocean breezes, and a tropical drink or two!

Next in adoption...Our adoption classes started (more details on Friday)! So that's where we'll be every Monday night for the next 12 weeks. It felt very real to be actively involved with other adoptive/foster families, learning about the process and preparing for parenthood!

Next in writing...In case you missed it, my book, Candid Classroom: What Parents Want to Know & Teachers Want to Tell Them, has a cover and a release date! It will be available August 4th, and I couldn't be more thrilled! Be sure to head over to The Candid Teacher and sign up for the email list to stay up to date with ways to help spread the word and upcoming events.

Next in food...We started a supper club with two other couples! We call ourselves Foodies With Booties, and the first month was tons of fun. It's our turn to host in June, so I can't wait to share all the details with you later this month.

Next in life...I'm working really hard to lose weight and get into shape, and although progress has been slower than I'd like, I'm determined to stick with it. I just moved on to Level 2 of Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, and I'm still sweating. I don't do it every day, but 4 times a week, and yoga twice a week, so it's more working out than I've ever done! My goal for this month is to finish Level 2 and move on to Level 3. Yikes!